This Cannot Be Happening

I awake to the door of my room screeching open like it does every morning. It’s my mother waking me up for school, but something is different. My room looks different. It’s bigger. Everything is so big, and I am not in my bed. Someone else is in my bed, and I’m…on the floor?

How on earth did I get here?

I stretch out my, uh, paws? Paws! Why do I have paws? I run to the mirror, but all I can see is the tip of my…tail? Oh, God this cannot be happening right now! This is impossible. It is supposed to be impossible, yet it’s happening. I am in the body of my cat and the person in my bed is me–or, in a more correct wording, my cat, Eggplant– in my body.

I jump on my bed and begin kneading the leg of my body. My body awakes, startled and confused, then looks at me with realization.

“What are we gonna do?” I yell, but all that comes out is “meow, meow, meow.” Good thing my cat’s brain speaks cat and knows what’s up.

“How would I know?” he says, exasperated. Wow, is that really what I sound like? I wonder. My voice is absolutely annoying!

“Well, I guess it’s time to get dressed. We have to go to school.”

Eggplant looks at me as if I have lost my mind.

“Don’t look at me like that! You think this is going to stop me from achieving perfect attendance? No, siree! I’ll pick out your outfit.” I make my way to the closet and point to the clothes for Eggplant to wear. He makes a disgusted face and looks away.

“What? This is my favorite outfit!” I respond defensively.

“Oh, girl, it might be yours, but it should be in the trash can,” he replies sassily.

I gasp, “How rude! Just for that, you have to wear the platform boots!”

“Whatever,” Eggplant says as he grumpily puts on the clothes I picked out.

“Put me in the backpack. I have to guide you,” I say as I start pawing at the zipper on the backpack. “We don’t know how long this’ll last, so it is better to be safe rather than sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says monotonously while opening the backpack. I climb inside.

“Please be gentle. I feed you food!”

He rolls his eyes and puts on the backpack and goes outside to wait for the bus. On the bus he sits next to Pablo.

“NOOO! Not there!” I hiss in Eggplant’s ear. He just smiles devilishly.

“So, Pablo, how was your weekend?” Eggplant says to him in a flirtatious manner.

“Stop it! Eggplant, you better watch out before you don’t get any treats for a week! You hear that? That’s right a WEEK!” I threaten through my teeth.

“Umm, is your backpack meowing?” Pablo says inquisitively. Eggplant quickly reaches into the backpack to shut me up, but it is to no avail! I bite him and jump out. No one shall ever know about my crush on Pablo Picassini!

“What in the world?” Pablo says incredulously.

“I”M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” screams Eggplant.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The betrayal! The heartbreak! How will I go on? I cannot! This cannot be happening!

“Wait, really?” Pablo’s eyes widen. “I’m in love with you, too!”

My heart stops. Can this be happening?

I repeat the events that have happened in the last two hours in my head. My frontal lobe tries to rule this out as a simple dream that I can’t control. I’ve had those before. Surely, this is all.

I think again, was this really all that bad? Eggplant had achieved something I’d only daydreamed about after reading romance novels and eating freezer-burned ice cream. Should I be thanking Eggplant?

No going back; the cat is out of the bag now– no pun intended.

Just kidding, pun intended, I did that on purpose.

Pablo takes Eggplant by the neck and kisses my/its lips deeply. If only I could have felt that myself. Lucky cat!

We arrive at school and I follow them off the bus. They are holding hands, their fingers intertwined, and I can’t help but feel incredibly jealous. The giant yellow bus is just about to pull off before a strange, daunting, evil feeling overwhelms me, causing me  to use all my cat strength to push Eggplant in front of it.

“Candace! What the heck?” are Eggplant’s dying words as he is demolished by a double decker bus.

I can’t believe it. I gaze down at my paws and begin my inner monologue. What is wrong with me? Why did I just kill my best friend? Maybe cats really are evil. Maybe this is what his body is doing to me, turning me into…EGGPLANT!

This cannot be happening! I cannot become my cat. What did I do to deserve this? Then I remembered two nights ago…

I was walking down the street and came upon a stray cat, but did not check to see if it was okay or to pet it. I neglected it.

That’s when it hit me.

This was my punishment.