As she flew through the sky, the air was bitter cold, rushing and freezing her little wings. She is free. “The beauty of freedom,” she thought. The wind stopped and her wings frozen. Unable to flap them, she started to fall. The air was getting hotter the further she fell. Finding her house, she felt her heart stop with fear. Behind those perfect walls was hell, her prison. BOOM… The little bird hit the ground. “Let me die,” she pleaded. “I’d rather die than be trapped there again. Please let this not be a dream. I want to die.”

***

Hope, a twelve-year old girl, lurched awake to find the screaming of her alarm clock and the dried tears hurting her face, reminding her of all that she was not. The marks and scars on her arms revealed to those who saw them the war zone she called “home.” Hope mechanically got up and walled off her feelings, knowing the only path of survival in the house.

She walked down the stairs and saw her mother. Immediately she found something wrong with Hope. “God, why can’t you ever get anything right? Are you an idiot? You’re so worthless,” said her mother. With that, Hope’s mother rushed off to work leaving Hope alone to wallow in her thoughts.

“You’re worthless… worthless… worthless.” Hope thoughts assaulted her, tearing at the wall that blocked her emotions. Her mind pushed her further back to the daily insults.“You’ll never be anything… Out of all of your sisters you’d be the whore… God, you’re such a slut… You aren’t worthy of anything…” The thoughts pierced the walls of her hardened heart. Faster and louder they screamed as they came together in Hope’s mind. “Worthless… Slut … Never good enough… No one could ever love you.” The tears spilled out of her eyes, flowing faster with each new remembered insult.

Hope collapsed under the weight of all of the words burning themselves into her very soul until she could stand it no more. “Get out! Stop it! Get out! GET OUT! G… E… T OUT!” she screamed. Thoughts of a little bird flying from its cage appeared in her mind. The little bird was flying, its wings carrying away the pain of her life. Calm settled over her as she imagined being the little bird flying free in her dream.

Hope picked herself off the floor, holding on to the image of herself as a bird flying away. She washed her face and covered it with make-up. She hid behind a smile and the perfect “home.” Throwing a long-sleeved shirt on to keep her scars and pain secret from the world, destroying her from the inside. She couldn’t tell anyone, because who would believe her? Instead, Hope settled for being the little bird waiting for any chance to be free from her pain.